a much needed spring break

so it's sunday, the day before i have to go back to school after spring break. :( i wish spring break was longer. i really think that i have changed. i used to be really on top of things when it comes to schoolwork (shut up to people who are mad that i've never gotten anything less than a B+ on a report card because the streak will probably end here), but i think i've gotten lazier and more apathetic. i guess this semester is a test for me. life isn't easy and this is just one of those times where i have to persevere. if i can get through this semester, then i can get through anything. if i can get through syntax with a B+ or better, then and only then will i feel like all the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders.

i had a dream while i was in the bay area. well, i had many dreams, but one really sticks in my mind. i had a dream that my grandfather passed away. i dreamt that he collapsed and i went to visit him at the hospital. while they were looking up his room number at the front desk, i could see the screen. the screen had the patients' names and their birthdate, and deathdate if necessary. when they came to my grandfather's name, it had a deathdate. the deathdate was 1-17-06. once i saw that, i couldn't stop crying in the dream and it was one of those angry "i hate the world" kind of crying. when i woke up, the dream was still in my mind and the deathdate made sense to me. that was my grandmother's deathdate... or rather her official deathdate. she passed away Monday night, 1-16-06, but the doctors did not pronounce her passing until after midnight at 12:15... so 1-17-06.

so what does the dream mean? what would a dream analyst say about the dream? one interpretation is to say that my grandfather died the same day my grandmother died. it's true. ever since my grandmother passed away, my grandfather has not stopped grieving. there is a shrine for my grandmother and he mourns for her everyday. and he cries and weeps often. another interpretation, i have a fear of my grandfather passing away. this one is true too. before my grandmother passed away, no one close to me had ever died and i had never been to a funeral. and now, i have a fear of losing everyone i love.

why do tragic things always happen to me during spring semester? here are a few pics from the bay area:

linda, me, gus, traci, jon

mary, me, jon, traci

me, on the way to alcatrz