Despite everything...

life is beautiful.

It's hard to really believe that when I try to study for syntax (the bane of my existence) and read/answer questions for kinship (the 2nd bane of my existence) and figure out the phonemes for Khmer (sort of fun, but frustrating at the same time).

It's hard to keep that in mind when I cry because everything in life sucks and because there's so much to do and so little time. And at night I think about my grandma and everything just feels so empty inside me.

I don't know why I just get so angry with life sometimes. I just want to say "Fuck you" to everyone even though no one has done anything to me and I don't even cuss. Oh yeah, "Fuck you, Buffy the Vampire Slayer." My syntax professor loves that show and uses the characters and stuff from the show in her example sentences and in sentences on our homework; homework which takes like 15-20 hours to do and I end up thinking about sentences like "Spike staked the vampire in the hand with the toothpick" or "It seems that Buffy departed yesterday from Sunnydale" for hours and I wake up in the morning and it's the first thing that comes to mind and I try to solve the problem while I'm still lying in bed. So "Fuck you, Buffy. I never liked the show and this gives me another reason to not like it. I know it's illogical and unreasonable, but tough luck. I don't like you, regardless."

I really want this semester to be over.

Despite everything, is life still beautiful? Maybe.