I love insulting people's favorite team!

So Erica loves hockey. She loves the Colorado Avalanche and the Minnesota Wild (because she has a huge crush on Martin Skoula). I wrote this on her wall last night:

Okay, Erica, let's get a few things straight:

1. Avs suck (I don't trust teams that are named after natural events)
2. Wilds suck (I have relatives from Minnesota and I realized that anything from Minnesota sucks)
3. Skoula sucks beyond belief (He was born in a country that doesn't even exist anymore!)

A Simpson quote that summarizes my point: "That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"

Bring it on! Prove me wrong, point by point!

Ahhh, that felt good.

LA: Kobe out, Torre and A-Rod in?

LA fans can be so obnoxious, booing Kobe last night during the Lakers' season opener. The dude put up 45 points, but Lakers still lost the game. It is not the time and place to boo him. You're supposed to be supportive when he's on the court. He showed up to the game 3 and a half hours early to practice. Now that's dedication. I really hope he doesn't leave, but that's the way it goes with professional sports. Greedy bastards! Why can't people just play with the same team for life?

Grady Little retired. He's only been here for... like what? 2 seasons? I miss the old days with Jim Tracy, and players like Shawn Green, Paul Lo Duca, and Gary Sheffield on the Dodgers.

Me: "I miss him [Gary]."
Tyler: "Awww, I'm sure he misses you too."

That was a good team... even though they didn't get to the World Series. But yeah, I don't know if I want Torre here. And A-Rod might follow because he's like Torre's bitch... I mean, they had a very great relationship with each other. Woooooooooooo................

Joe Rogan is awesome

Comedian, Fear Factor host, UFC commentator, etc.... Joe Rogan is awesome. He just cracks me up. Now, the only thing that bugs me about him is that he doesn't believe we've been to the moon. People who believe that are crazy. Just go to NASA's website that disproves the supposed evidence these crazy people come up with. There are reasonable explanations for everything.

Side note: This has to be one of the greatest videos of all time. This psycho accuses Buzz Aldrin of being a liar, accuses Buzz Aldrin of never having been to the moon... and Buzz punches him in the face. Go Buzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mQKxAqpjroo

Anyway, so I remember seeing this post on IMDB.com (from 2005) about girls thinking Joe is hot. Now, I personally do not think he's "hot," but you know, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." But I seriously couldn't stop laughing when I read these posts. My comments will be in [brackets]:

"Your Favorite Qualities About Mr. Rogan?" (posted by a mrs_oleson)
"As for me, I love his lips, voice, personality, muscles, short black hair, teeth and his 38 year old age. I plan on writing a book about him. Do you think it'll be a bestseller? What parts of his life do you think people would be most interested in reading about?"

[Oh... my... God. I hope this person is joking. I think Joe is great and all, but a book? Then again, I'd like to see this girl's book about Joe. Chapter 1: Joe's first words, Chapter 2: In a League of His Own, Chapter 35: Joe's Ultimate Fighting Death. And what is she going to name her book? Driven?]

A reply by skid-16:
"My favorites are his racist, homophobic website forum, the fact that he's a druggie, the way he isn't funny, and the retarded way he acts. I also like the way he's always casting sideways glances at the male contestants on "Fear Factor," and dissing the chicks. Oh, and have you heard his "comedy stylings"? I finally saw part of his act on youtube, and it was so bad it gave me cancer."

[LOL, that made me laugh as well. Joe's flaws make him funnier in my eyes.]

Again, mrs_oleson replies back:
"Regardless of his bad qualities like Homophobia or the fact he might be gay, he is one of the most handsomest men ever. It just drives me wild when he wears that dark leather jacket on Fear Factor. Makes him look soooo butch, so manly, so sexy."

[Again, I really, seriously hope this girl is joking. "That dark leather jacket on Fear Factor"!?!?!?!?! LOL, I know what she's talking about too because he does wear that pretty often. But seriously, is this girl for real?]

For your viewing pleasure... Joe Rogan wearing the infamous dark, leather jacket.

Inappropriate jokes

I apologize beforehand if anyone is offended by these jokes... so be forewarned.

I was talking to Ed on the phone while driving home from work today and we got onto the topic of someone visiting an online friend who lived far away (airplane ride away). The girl wrote the guy a message, like "I had so much fun visiting you this weekend." I was like, "Dude, for all I know, she might have been raped" because I forgot that she wrote that message to him. So Ed had to remind me, "I doubt she did if she said she enjoyed her weekend." And that's when the inappropriate laughs ensued.

Ed joked about how the message might have been written: "Oh, I had so much fun this weekend. The best part was when you raped me. It was just amazing." And I was like adding onto this imaginary letter by saying, "Yeah, I've been raped 5 times before, and you're the best one yet." We decided that it would be a great psychological way to mess with rapists. "Out of all the guys who've raped me, you're my favorite one!"

Oh man, if hell exists, I think I am going there for sure.

This reminds me of the time my family were joking about death. So my family tends to buy graves before they die and those who haven't were interested in getting one. So we were at the cemetery for "Grave Sweeping/Cleaning Day" (Chinese holiday where you visit your loved ones' grave and clean it and have a picnic with them) and this cemetery representative comes up to us to let us know that they were having a 2 for 1 deal that ends in a few days, like 2 graves for the price of 1. My family was like, "Wow, what a great deal! That's so ideal for couples!"

Relative: "So the two graves are next to each other?"
Cemetery dude/representative: "No... they're on top of each other."

And that's when my entire family gave a weird face and tried not to laugh. After he left, one relative started talking to my dad: "Hey, shouldn't you start thinking about getting a grave for yourself?" And my dad said, "No, I'm still young. I think it's time for YOU to start getting one."

We couldn't stop laughing about the "on top of each other" part for the 2 graves.

Relative looking at his wife: "You know, whoever dies first has to be on the bottom."

So bad.

Jingle Bells

Yeah so it's Halloween, but last night, Ludy, Parle, and I were spreading some holiday cheer as we were driving around Long Beach. Whenever we saw someone walking on the street or when we were approaching a car with their windows down, we'd burst out singing "Jingle Bells." Parle did the best "ha ha ha" for "laughing all the way," Parle: "Haw haw haw" in a really deep, manly voice. The looks we got were priceless. Drive-by singing is so much fun. A lot safer and cleaner than drive-by shootings.

Fires and Television

So, there are all these fires starting up in LA County, Riverside County, OC, and San Diego County (sorry if I missed any more counties!). Even though none of them are close enough to me, I am breathing in all the ash and smoke. Fun times. But seriously, I hope all my friends near the fires are okay. I know one friend in San Diego who is packed up just in case they tell her family to evacuate. Scary!

This reminds me of the fires that started in the Fall of 2003, when I first started college. It was raining/snowing ash and some people wore face masks or used handkerchiefs as face masks. I didn't because I didn't want to look uncool and nerdy... j/k. I remember going fire chasing too with some friends. We wanted to go toward the fires and drove up to the neighborhood where the fire was sort of nearby and took pictures and just watched. Don't laugh or think we were crazy... I know we weren't the only ones who did that.

So sometimes for my job, I have to travel places. Traveling is a part of investigations and collecting evidence. So during one of our drives, my boss and I would talk about things. I forgot what we were talking about, but he told me that I was very wise and mature beyond my years. He said that because I knew or referenced "old" things that he grew up with. Like, I think I was talking about how I love watching game shows. Ever since I was little, I've always watched game shows and I named a few that I watched and they were really old ones, like from the late 80s. And he looked at me surprisingly because most kids my age probably have never heard of them or would have never watched those shows when they were young. Oh and another time was when I knew what "Matlock" was... of course, I've heard of Matlock. I don't really watch it and I've only seen parts of episodes, but who hasn't heard of Matlock?!

Anyway, back to those game shows. My parents also love game shows so I guess ever since I was born and ever since I could remember, I'd watch TV with my parents (like as young as 2 or 3) and we'd watch game shows... like game shows that big people would watch... not kiddie game shows. Although when I older, by like 5 or so, I started watching Nickelodeon/PBS and watched the kid game shows. And I always wanted to be on those shows, like Guts, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Where in the World is Carmen San Diego (I also played the computer game!)?, Where in Time is Carmen San Diego?, etc. I was a huge couch potato when I was a baby/kid. I must've been watching "Three's Company" with my parents ever since I was 3 or so because when I just turned 4, my mom became pregnant and I told my parents that if the baby was a girl, I wanted her to be named Janet... named after Janet from the show "Three's Company." Weird and crazy, huh? Thank God they didn't listen to me. I now realize that Janet would have been a weird name to give her. Not saying Janet is a weird name... just saying Janet is a weird name to give my sister.

I think TV is great. I always tell people that I know a lot of random crap and trivia because I grew up watching TV, and half of them were education shows. Sure, the other half weren't really educational... these include Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Brady Bunch, or Lassie, but I learned a lot. Oh, and when I was being interviewed/tested when I was 5 years old to see if I was ready to go to kindergarten, my mom remembers me telling them that my favorite TV show was "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." Dude, Raphael was my favorite character, only because I liked the color red and he was the red one. Anyway, people who think TV is bad need to realize that it can be a good thing. My mom's family learned how to speak English by watching TV. Sure they took English classes (side note: I was named after an English teacher named Cheryl, who taught English to my mom and her sisters when they lived in Michigan), but they loved watching TV. My mom said everyone had favorite TV shows. My mom's favorites included The Brady Bunch, Little House on the Prarie, Dynasty, Three's Company, Happy Days, etc. She said my grandfather loved watching game shows (liking game shows must run in the family). My mom said TV helped her because the sponsors would ask my mom what happened during the TV shows and then correct her. My mom gave me an example where she said, "Her... her former husband... " and the sponsor corrected her by saying, "Ex-husband."

Isn't TV wonderful? To quote Homer Simpson, "Television! Teacher, mother, ... secret lover."

All is well in the world

So, I've been reading my old blogs and I thought to myself, "Could my blog on how I digitally cleaned my laptop and email inboxes get any more boring?!?!?!" I wanted to kill myself while reading them. Why did I write about it?

Anyway, so I got a full-time job doing what I used to want to do when I was in high school. I originally wanted to major in criminology or criminal justice and I was pretty serious about it as I researched the John Jay College of Criminal Justice (Henry Lee, the forensic scientist who worked on big name cases like the OJ Simpson case, Jon Benet Ramsey, etc., went there for school), Florida State, Michigan State, etc. But then, when I took a college anthropology class during my junior year of high school, I fell in love with anthropology and that was my new calling. I still love anthropology (and linguistics), but I have always wanted to solve mysteries and investigate things.

So fast-forward to today. I originally imagined myself going to graduate school in either anthropology, linguistics, or sociology. But now, I'm considering going to graduate school in criminology or criminal justice. So............... here I am working as an assistant to a legal investigator to see what I think of it. I love the job so far. I love getting involved in big cases (car accidents that involve fatalities, investigations that involve politicians, etc.) and I love finding people other people can't find. I love finding information on people. I don't know, I just find it thrilling to investigate things.

Hmmmm... I don't know what my purpose in life is, but "I gotta find out, don't wanna wait, got to make sure that my life will be great. Gotta find my purpose before it's too late."